Have you?

Have you ever:

1. Sat blank for half an hour in the examination hall?
2. Felt like never to go outside your room?
3. Felt so content that, wished to stop earth's rotation?
4. Thought, actually what are you doing right now?
5. Sat on a table in a resto,between tables of the one crazy for you and the one you are crazy for, and the latter one sitting with his girlfriend?
6. Just wanted to run out and shout?
7. Wanted to kill yourself just because you are right?
8. Wanted to marry the person you hate most?
9. Wanted to punch many people together?
10.Stopped talking to your friend cause he/she gives you ideas from heart ,not brain?

Well well  well, may be many of you have affirmative answers of many of the above questions.But I have positive answer for all of them.
Thats strange? ehh..not that much ...
After soo many days, I am writing here, and I feel like asking you soo many questions, well obviously you are not bound to answer.:D
My semester ended the day before yesterday and now I have plenty of time to make a set of question paper for myself and compensate for whatever I missed out in the answer paper..:P
Its been a bad day for me, today, though it was Christmas.  Still I am not that ill to spare you from asking these stupid questions.
From some of the above questions it may seem I am a bit frustrated. Noway, I'm not, may be a bit depressed. but it's party time, no time for being sad, yuhooo...... 
Happy New year In Advance to you all.

The odd man out.

In this world of utter selfishness and bitterness , some too good men still do exist.

Here comes a story of a guy, just 21, but a whole lot different from most others.
He is perhaps not suitable in this mean world of 21st century..
This not a story, a very true incident, and too good to believe, if you haven't seen him truly.


But I am lucky enough to get such a person as my classmate. He is too good for the world. The character may seem a reel-one but its a real-one.

A true human being he strives to be from every aspect of his life. 

But may be some, after hearing about him ,may say ,that he is not really ' good'.

Well, lets start.The Auto fare from Garia to our remote college stoppage was Rs.5.50 then.
This guy used to travel by auto. And most of us are acquainted with these days' south kolkata's autowalas(no offence intended) who are famous for their movements in the most static traffic, their lingo and their OTT behaviours..This guy pays normal fare everyday.

But one day, somehow an auto wala paid him back Rs.6 as a balance for Rs. 10 ,what my friend paid(originally he was supposed to get Rs.4.50, as d fare was Rs. 5.50) and before he could say anything the auto passed away with high speed..Now, this guy was in problem (as he felt it was not a right thing to give inappropriate amount of money to d autowala..).So what he did???

guess..

guess..

guess..


No, he didn't ran after the auto...
He just dropped a 1 Re.coin and a 50 P. coin on the road....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because according to him~ it was no more his, as the autowala actually deserved IT...

What to say??!!!


Another incident:
He was coming to college on that day by train.The train arrived at the platform , just as he entered the station.So, as he was just on time, couldn't go and buy a ticket, just boarded on the train, without ticket(Which is Strongly against his principles....)..

So what to do???

All day he was in a bad mood as 'strong sin-sense' was working in him.... 
So what he did?
While returning back home by train,he bought TWO tickets and threw one away..!!!!!!

He is not a very regular college-goer. So whenever he goes to college he takes the class-notes from other people for getting it xeroxed. Now by any chance if theres even a slight wrinkle in any of the pages of the notes he would give a new gum stick, a new cellotape to the notes-owner along with his/her notes..we become speechless at his such mannerisms, yet can't protest. Once we took the gum(which he gave one of us along with the notes) back to the college stationary shop and in exchange took a pen and somehow gave it to him, and fortunately he accepted without understanding the real story behind the pen..:)

I ,rather we don't get this man...We all shout at him, crazy, eccentric, lunatic and don't know what else...But he continues in  his strange (morale) ways...
There are many such incidents of his....
But we really can't make out whether he is tooo good a person or just a crazy fool ..!!

Just another Story. Part -4

CONTINUED FROM:  
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2   
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3 

Anu messed up her life. She was trying to sort it out hard, she was fighting to stay jolly among all the odds of her life. While with her family,she always showed her least emotions, thoughts and feelings.She tried to become busy with her work and career issues,as she thought staying busy will take her away somehow from her abundant mundane troubles.


Some day a particular relative of her told her " You are actually very rude,You have less emotions in you,that's why you can be so harsh on others'. Those who are emotional tolerates the jabberings of the unemotionals like you."  It was quiet hard for her to accept this specific statement, yet she tried to catch up a curve in her face and only one face rose in her mind Rohit .

Another day she was talking to her mom casually  .
Bending over her lean body Anu murmered "Mom,I think I need to loose a bit frm my tummy....." 

Before she completed her mom gave a stern reply "You are absolutely ok, rather put on some on that thin figure. What will your in-laws say?!"....

Anu was shocked " Now wherefrom do they hail from?". 

"We say nothing to you now, doesn't mean we won't ever say anything.You have to marry.
Whatever you say or whatever you do, You will have to marry,Don't think you will always fly like this and keep on fighting with
people around you..!!" 

Anu's parents even started showing serious interests in some of the marriage proposals that came for their daughter.
Anu could'nt utter anything, as situations worsened and her dad always scolded her mom whenever she said or atleast tried to speak anything in Anu's for, against marriage stuffs.

Anu could'nt carry on with the argument, left the room in utter disgust.

Earlier she always had Rishi by her side to share all these itsy-bitsy things,but now she preferred not to share.
For quiet a number of days she was absolutely without contact with Rishi; recieved none of his calls, replied to none of his SMSes. One day when Rishi couldn't take it anymore he
came to meet Anu at her home, but she didn't even came down to meet him. This was like a shock to Rishi.However strong his heart could be diagnosed his atrium and ventricles were not strong enough to tolerate such behaviour from his best friend and the one whom he loved so much. He started to try to cope with such strange behaviour of Anu, but in vain. It was hard , very hard....

The problem was that, he couldn't still understand why exactly Anu was upset with him and was denying to interact in anyway with him, and also he was not able to discuss the matter with anyone.
He cried hard.It was one of the rarest times in his adolescence when Rishi cried!! He spend days without food, all alone in his room, without letting anyone outside know, what storm was going inside.

He fell ill, tremendously ill. Mental trauma along with physical weakness carried him almost near death.
Anu's arrogance still prevented her from getting in contact with her ill best friend. Her mind and brain fought. Arohi suggested her again and again to go and see him before anything more serious and difficult happened.
Once again Anu was in dilemma - To go or not to go...if she goes and if Rishi thinks that she had feelings for him-all these things started cropping in her mind and gulped her days and nights.She sat blank for hours with random romantic songs running in her ear via the cord of her ipod.She thought she had no idea of her life after being financially established. She thought of the mosquito that was trying to squeeze in between her ear and headphone, she thought of it, that it never knew it would be dead the next moment.  Among all these non-sense thoughts she couldn't arrive at the final decision that was enough urgent to be made. Procrastination was now a part of her especially on some points..!

She only muttered " God,  why why ,why always these things happen with me??"

Then: 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -6

social 'I' 'sing'

I am often termed ‘unsocial’ by my parents ,as I refuse to show up when some guests come(who are pretty much unwanted and unliked by Me). I refuse to go to the ceremonies and rituals that I hardly respect or believe in. I hardly feel like giving a smile to the (oh-)so-acquainted one on road and ask how and what is his/her late(40’s/50’s) child doing…..sorry I am not interested.!

I hate It. I have loads of problems and things in my life to sort out and work out apart from asking others their problems and giving advices to them….I don’t like it, when the parrot-nosed aunty gives a jaunty smile to my mom and says her, pointing at me “ Your girl is nice, but she din’t grow so much tall like you?!”. I feel like asking “Do you have doubts on your eyesights? And why my dear? Did you have any very tall eligible bachelor roaming about in your mind(for me)?...”…:P….
Alas!!! I can’t ask that ….can only make arcs, curves, parabolas, hyperbolas by my lips and cheeks…![..:(. ,.:),.:D.,:P.,.:O,.:X….]

Society------ We are social beings living here. These days the so-called social creatures are hardly to be found by the sides when needed most,but are always present to criticise behind curtains and throw inquisitive glances,and often stares too..(well, I do agree that I am myself one of that lot.Don’t know whether people like me made the society like this or the society compelled in making people like me…I think in some case its relative and in some cases directly proportional)

I dislike a thousand such stuffs. Another widespread _______(don’t know what to say it -custom/ ritual/ social norm/ responsibility?!) is attending marriages, death rituals, anniversaries,parties, divorces (and don’t know what else..) often inspite of not feeling like going(in some cases I and we obviously feel like going, now don’t say you always like and feel like going to such places,I won’t believe that even if you say..!..:P).
But yet,it’s a must. WHY? Because when it will be your turn they won’t come , and being a social being, during any sorrow or happiness others’ presence is indispensible..!.

I am not much interested to go to my NRI cousin’s marriage. My mom states: “ Well, you don’t go . But then don’t expect them at your marriage or your child’s rice-eating ceremony.”. “My dear dear mom I am not a graduate yet, and you have gone so soo far..Well I don’t expect others to come..”

In this cases I am a great fan of Ayn Rand(in case you also are , I hope I don’t need to explain). She says we all live for oursleves and we should do what we feel will be good for our selves only,never to do charity, to get what we deserve, do obtain what we want, to achieve what we dream.

On this context  I remembered that particular SMS(don’t know whether it’s truly related to the context or not):

At marriages old ppl used 2 pull my cheeks n say “u r nxt”….They stopped wen I strtd doin d same at funerals.What a crazy World.!!

Well, now what do you say? Do you like always like socialising ?[keep the thought of gaping and stomach-worship away for a moment….:)…]

Just another Story. Part -3

CONTINUED FROM:  
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2 
                             

Anu was disturbed . She had some family troubles. According to her,her parents were perfectly imperfect for each other. They quarelled and fought with each other so much, that made Anu temperamentally unsuited to family life.The way her father treated her and behaved with her, she couldn't bear it and thought it would be impossible for her in her future to marry and live with some man;when she couldn't tolerate her father's attitude how will she accept someone under the same roof whom she hardly knows. She was avoiding relations and people involved in relations. These reactions in her sub-conscious mind somehow affected her social life.
Everyone started seeming different to her with time.

One of her big problems was turning to be Rishi. She started feeling a difference in him. She felt somehow Rishi was actually wanting to be more than just best friends to her. His touches were different. Those consolating soothing embraces were changing. Rishi has changed - this thought was pinning her constantly. The last day Rishi hold her, she sensed as if Rishi was feeling her, it was not the same friendly hugs; it was different, and Anu didn't like it. But she couldn't tell Rishi anything about this as she thought this might hurt him, in case she was wrong. She was not sure because she had great trust on Rishi, and if it was really like what she was guessing and had felt it would hurt her severely.

As days passed Rishi was more and more in love with Anu. He tried to support her in every possible way. But yes, as he was now in love, things were much different to him, unlike Anu. When Anu and he were close or when she needed his consolations, she was no more his best friend but his inamorata(for him). He hold her the way, he would never let her go away. Anu tried to tear herself away, but in vain;Rishi's strong hands and a burning heart couldn't let her go.

But Anu, inspite of being a modern girl still had some very conservative ideologies. The things she didn't like, none could actually make her like those. The incident affected her. She was creating distance between herself and Rishi, though she herself tried to move the incident out of her mind. She thought, from the next time she'll be conscious and won't let her be that close to Rishi that may cause her later-awkward thoughts and feelings. She also blamed herself somehow for her ill-feelings towards her best friend. Rishi was quiet able to understand how Anu was trying hard to avoid interactions with him, but he could hardly make out what it was. The last day they met ,she didn't even bid a good bye to him, nor looked at his face. This hurt him severely.he kept on wondering what was disturbing her.

Anu believed in platonic relations. She coludn't protest when Rishi was in her love , but she didn't like his 'that way' approach. Anu doesn't look on intimacy as a guilt, but according to her 'that'sort of closeness without one's will was never to be welcome.
 
Anu was once again breaking down as she was moving away from Rishi. In middle of the night she cried aloud 'Rohit where are you?Why you came to me? I ask you only this cause I can't blame you for leaving me,I know I was somehow wrong....Rohit...Rohit.....' .She tried to gather her lost strength from Rohit's name. He was not in her life anymore, but for Anu he was just ubiquitous as always .



Then:
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Bad time again.

Again that particular bad phase of life has arrived. The weather is soo nice, winter just coming, no fan, and the cosiness of sheets, shawls and blankets luring mind.. But sem is hardly 3 weeks away(We don't know the date yet, our university discloses the sem date just 7 or 8 days before , pathetic..!) .Well this is my 2nd last semester of my graduation.Yet its no less horrible than others.
As its the last year, we have so many non-departmental subjects. In a way I hate them sometimes..
Engineering economy and financial management one of the horrendous subjects. Cashbook, passbook,trial balance, balance sheet etc etc etc..oh my god...all alien things. and we (inspite of being being science students)are supposed to  mug up all those. The terms only seem alien. And under one subject theres basically two subjects, economics is also there, uffff....and its not possible to give stress on a part, as we never know
whats going on in the paper setters' mind. Its pathetic.
And as the sem approaches I just feel al the more sleepy and hungry....
As I start reading, I feel like sleeping and soon I do fall asleep and when the mozzies ('3 mistakes' term for mosquitoes..:P) awake me I feel hungry. But often if I don't get anything or anyone at home, I switch on the music or computer or sit with another story book.
Engg. ethics is a subject and when I open the book I feel I know all those and when I see the previous years' question paper I feel sick. They give questions worth 15marks each and many of them have no part markings...:(...history..history history..my mind aches thinking of my future hand pain..:P

Machining, material science are interesting but I forget what I read last when I read the new topics..
Operation research and industrial management(OR &IM)  is another subject...well operation research is almost done, but IM part....its a big fat book itself and all theory and no maths..it makes me feel sick..

And theres project works-mine being design of truss. Our group almost completed the theoritical calculation parts but, another teacher declared that,that will not do properly and we need to do a practiacal and proffessional ,with all the loads brought under considerartion(wind, living,self-weight etc etc) and that again put fresh loads on us... Over loads take me to the stage of fatigue, hope its not 'failure'.:P

Ahem..god save me this sem(as he does often..:))

Award time.

Another award. Its long I am getting awards but not giving anyone..:P. So deceided this time to award some people, though I don't like the concept of awarding a few and not all.
Rohit Dassani has awarded me this one.Thank you Rohit.

Yet the rule goes.. But before bestowing the award according to rule I am to unfold '7' that none knows about me(You need to do the same when you get this award.). Well thats a bit hard, cause I am an
extrovert person and theres almost nothing and listing '7' such stuffs is a pretty hard job.. And being such an extrovert even if such things remain which none knows,well, then perhaps none is supposed to know.:P
Well let share with you somethings that you are not supposed to know:..:)[now happy..??:)...]

1.I was born as a premature baby and there were rare chances of my existance.
2.I did and do things which shock many people.
3.People says(rather claims..:P) they love me for my weirdness.
4.I became a story-book-worm only after my 10th std(i.e the time when i started hating study-books..:P).
5.I am a very selfish person.But I help and am always with people who are with me.I hate charity.
6.I am very short-tempered.I get angry even if any of my family members touch the morning newspaper before me.
7.I dream to lead a very luxurious life, but alone.


Well I am done over with the worst part.. Now the award ceremony... A huge round of applause for alll of you....
The award goes to:
chocolate lover,
Mahesh Sindbandge,
Anoop,
Being Pramoda...,
Atulya,
Vittaldas Prabhu,
Yellow Tulip ....

Well thats all for now, Congratulations to all...Best of luck keep writing.

Train of ThoughtS

So many things moving around in my head, yet I am not writing for quiet a long time. Because I was not in the mood for writing, I was actually busy doing one of my most favourite thing...simply being lazy. Everyday I thought of writing, yet I didn't feel like typing .
I felt like talking with people. But unfortunately (or may be fortunately) there's none around  with enough patience to listen to my whole range gripes and tripes.
Here in blog at least I can express my words and some nice people reads my blogs and praise my writings, which I never thought, could happen.

Just a few days back(when I was in my lazy phase) I read a book We The Living  by Ayn Rand. Loved it , loved it very much. Its about post effect of revolution in Russia, but it was a very romantic one. But the thing is that , the book has infused a typical anti-communist mentality in my head. Now I hate communism(well its not like that, that I was a huge patron of communism before reading the book; I just developed a sort of hatred towards communism after reading the book). Well, on this topic I remember one thing, I have got very much influenced by various people and books many times in my life.
Ayn Rand in her writing presents her own convictions, which are , not a bit, but quiet a much deviated from normal thoughts.
Communism is the ideology , where there will be no classes in the society, there will be no distinction between a worker or a manager and everyone will be the owner of every organisation , with everyone working as much as they can, but will be earning on the basis of what they need, Not what they deserve.
I don't think this thing to be a bit practical. Its not possible to work as much as one can, most of the times, and again its a sort of injustice to give one what he needs, not what he deserves. All human beings are not equal, everyone's intelligence or physical strength is not equal, everyone's ambition is not equal. Communism is a barrier for the outstanding; if he wants to do , own something then it will not be his' but all's. Is it possible? Is it acceptable?

So, stratas in society is quiet obvious.
I do agree , capitalistic society is most often excruciating for the subordinates, since the owner desires the maximum possible benefits,but I don't think communism is the solution The one who is working hard and the one not doing so can never own equal possessions.
Why on earth do we live for?For whose sake? Ourselves. Living is self-reverence.

So, I don't understand the ideology of not doing what one wishes to,and of not getting the full one deserves.

                                                            ******************************

Another thought was moving around, in my head....escapism and hedonism.
Well, I think I am a hedonist, I do most of the things for myself, for my happiness. I try to live my life keeping myself happy. For being happy it is often required to be a escapist. Don't you agree ?

Interaction with someone makes you sad? Do you prefer to say you, an escapist when you avoid that person? May be yes, but I don't see anthing bad in it, cause its done just for self. May be often its termed selfishness. Well, aren't we really meant to be so? We have only one life (that's even predicted to end on 2012...:(.. hehe.) so we should live on our terms and for our goodnesses and joys. Also there's a controversy regarding this, in my head. If someone gets joy always doing harm to the others, then what will happen to others.?! Well, I really don't think anyone can get true joy by doing intentional harm to others.

                                                              ******************************


Now , a poem, that was in mind for a time, but today the Bryan Adam's songs instigated me to write it.

You loved me, you said you do so.
I was in love,
Enough, enough to be blind in that.
Now I often think,
What you did.!
You loved me, or Always just
Wanted me to love you?!

I am not blaming you,
Not a bit,
I don't even dare to do so.
I just still love you
As it was years back,
I will love you
As it was years back.

I walk the life
With my shadow
But I am not alone
The memories I still cherish.
I don't need others' love,
I now hate those
Who Claim they love Me..!!
I prefer to be alone.

I am alone, not lonely,
I am alone, by choice,
Not by Chance.

I still love you,
The only difference is
I want you nomore.
I need you nomore.
I see you nomore.

                        
                                                   
                                                        **************************


Ahhh, I am feeling so light after saying(oops writing!) soo much..:)

Just another Story. Part-2

Continued from:  Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1





Anu unlike most of the times grew a bit matured this time. She didn't tell anyone that Rohit called , not even to her best friends Arohi and Rishi. She even didn't give any clue to anyone how much sad, how upset she really was. At last she was able to conceal her feelings somehow - she thought. Arohi lived a bit distant cause she lived in other state for study purposes , so all the time it was not possible for Anu to share everything with her. But Rishi , being Anu's best friend and staying side by side most of the times  ,always understood her, often even the unuttered things. 
But this time, Rishi even didn't understand. May be because Rishi was a bit busy with himself unlike most other times when he always delves in Anu's mind. They were good friends ,  rather best friends for years, not childhood ones though.
Anu was almost a baby to him and together they would look like anything --- brother-sister, girl friend-boy friend, artist and his art, best friends. Rishi and Anu both treasured their precious friendship and they were so much confident that they even did'nt pay any heed to what others' thought of their being together for so much time, because they knew there was nothing 'something else'. Anu continued to flow in thoughts of Rohit , being determined not to place anyone else below Rohit's diadem and not even trying to bring anyone else in her thoughts. And also most of the times she didn't keep her thoughts to herself only, Anu felt secured in the often warm emraces of Rishi, Rishi was there, a safe shoulder to cry on and a safe locker to put all the thoughts and feelings safely locked.

Rishi was a boy with strong wills, dedications , determinations who always respected Anu's all thoughts and feelings, however idiotic at times they may be. Even when Anu used to get upset with guys approaching her, Rishi always calmed her down... But things always doesn't go uniformly. No one really understands the chicanery of fate and mind, however cherubic at times they may be. Enthereal moments they shared were never a sort of billet-doux for them. But 'stupid cupid'  with much patience and time created iridescent hues in Rishi's mind . Yes, Rishi was madly in love with Anu. He tied his mind and tried hard not let Anu know anything about that. But Anu was a girl and above all Rishi's best friend who used to make out so many of his problems even before Rishi thought of telling them to Anu, No exception this time. Anu understood. Again it was somehow a bad situation for Anu, perhaps worse. What to say your best friend , what are the word to console that person who loves you madly but doesn't even expect anything in return!! Anu was again befuddled, about what she should do.!  
 Arohi suggested her not to be the sameway any more. Arohi asked her to stop all her childish behaviours and kiddish requests and throw them away. Anu was sad. She was again on the verge of loosing a friend?!! Rishi didn't allow her to do so. He promised her not to pick that topic again. But Anu thougt she should become bit cautious , so that in no way Rishi should feel or start expecting 'something' in return.
They continue to be friends ; together 'stopping' to think about 'their' future, one trying hard to confide love, One fighting hard to keep safe distance from so much of 'loves' all around.

As the planet rotates our lives also rotate and we never know whats really waiting for us in the next turning point. Just as Anu, Rohit, Rishi , Arohi all waiting for the 'Next'.


THEN GO TO: 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Random thoughts.

I wonder how the crowd has encircled me.
Early teenage solitude seems a bliss now.
Works to be done, responsibilities to be carried out.
Going gaga for various things at various times.

Just Dreaming to be alone now.
Who will let me ,to be so?

Often I feel lost in these
Dastardly earthy hues.
So much ears, so much eyes
Open just for me?
Just to praise or criticise me.!?
Or just they pretend..!!!
I hear and see so much of them.
Never felt so crowded ever before...

Zonked of hearing the jabberings.
Euphorian dreams exhorting the cravenly mind.
Yet...
I need some space, some solitude
Some bliss.

Its not:
"The tyrant claims freedom to kill freedom".
I have plenty of it.
Yet the 'yet' remains.
I am confused,
I am lost
Nowhere....

Just another Story. Part-1

Its almost two years now ,of break up between Anu and Rohit.

Anu loved Rohit from the time she started understanding the meaning of 'love', in her early teenage.But ,destiny played game with her.
He moved far away from her, with no scope of contact and rohit had no idea about her feelings at all. They were not friends, not among relatives even, they just knew each other..

Some seven years later they met. Anu was overwhelmed, just by realising Rohit recognised her face , seen long seven years back. Nothing went wrong then onwards. Rohit approached her and proposed her even, which was almost a chimera to Anu for years. So many people told her and tried to convince her that she couldn't wait for someone or 'just' love someone without seeing or even knowing much about him,  for soo many years . But she did, at least, then she believed she did.
Time passed on . Those were the happiest days of her life. Those moments, those thoughts , feelings...yeah,she got the man she loved , though she never desired. She loved without any expectations. she loved without a little bit of hope of getting Rohit ever in her life. So when in reality things happened that way  ,it was not really a dream come true for her. She never dreamt of that. She prayed for him, loved him, even wished him to be happy with someone else if he was in love with someone else( she
had no idea though what was going in his life or whether at all anyone was in his life).

Good times never lasts. It was not an exception for Anu's airy-fairy tale and her hunky-dory world.
They broke up. She was having adjustment problems. A number of times she started feeeling she was insulted , her morale, her principles were looked down upon, and often crushed even. She couldn't tolerate all those. As they were together ,breaking all prognostications, they parted breaking all predictions.

He was first in her life, but she was not the first one in his life. After Anu and Rohit broke up, Rohit went back to his first girlfriend(oops love..!) who claimed she always loved him , though Rohit left her due to some mere misunderstandings.
But Anu was alone. She loved to live that way, without inculcating any other 'especial' person in her life. She was happy being alone. She had no expectations from anyone.
The only thing changed in her was her mentality. She was determined not to be committed again. She was prepared to lead the rest of her life by her own. She didn't feel anybody's need in her life any more.

Days passed.
Rohit was traversing his ups and downs of life with another girl by his side --- this thought often hurt Anu, and often she was satisfied and happy thinking Rohit was no longer morosed for her,he was no longer living their memories as Anu still did.

Two years later on Rohit's birthday Anu wished him via SMS,not a call. He thanked and called her. It was 12.26 A.M. The conversation went. ...


Rohit[R]: Hello....

Anu [A]: Hello.

Rohit: how are you?

Anu: I am well as always...

R: Good.

A: yeah I know.

R: so.... whats going in your life?

A: studies, exams, gossips , music and everything thats required for me and myself.

R: Well thats essential part of life. What else, whats goin on in your personal life? Is there anyone now in your.......

A: No, I didn't feel any requirement of anyone else in my life. And what all happened in my life even if I blame someone,Its me.....

R: You are still very angry on me, right?

A: Why should I be? I am happy with whatever life gifted me. I never thought of getting it. I have no objections or complaints against anyone. And I don't blame myself generally, Cause I love myself the most on earth.And well the way I felt myself to be insulted, I want none any more. What do you think if you now wish me to be back in your life I'll be...Never.

R: Hmmmm ...Good, thats very good ki you don't blame yourself....

A: yeah I know, and apart from that there are actually soo many things going on in my life. Each week rather each day of my life is eventful for me...

R: Do you still remember me often?

A: Why should I?

R: Answer my question.

A: (Anu's voice started trembling and cracking....) Why should I remember You?

R: You are lieing...I know you are. Have some water now.

A: Yeah I had, Why should I lie?

R: Can't you answer a single answer properly and straight? You are not in your best manners now....

A: If I am not, Well I can't behave better than this....

R: You have remained the same...

A: Hmmm....

R: I am feeling sorry now, I didn't wish you on your b'day. Actually something very wrong was or is still going on in my life..I'll tell you someday....Sorry I didn't wish you...

A: Doesn't matter. I didn't expect or want anyone's wish.

Rahul: Well I didn't ask for your opinion, I said I felt sorry for not wishing...Actually today after coming out of office all of a sudden I remembered you...

Anu: ok ok....sorry...

R: Hmm.. so now ,can I give you a call ,often?

A: Whats the use?

R: Why don't you answer a single question clearly...Can I call you?

A: No, please no, No need. I am happy with the past memories, I don't want to refresh them And I don't want you as my friend or brother or any other thing on earth. I loved You and I still cherish many of my memories with you. Its better to relish ice-cream frozen and chicken soup hot... Will you like them the
other way round??

R: hmmm okk....so... now go to sleep...

A: hmm ok(no words were coming out now)..bye. good night...

And She hung up.... Then she burst into her usual tears. But this time this phone call made her stronger. She felt bad when he asked him whether she still remembers him or not, whether he can still call her or not..Didn't he really knows the answers.!
So what was his purpose?! To cool her down and consolate her, Or her first love again left him and he wanted Anu back.!!
Why are some rather most men so insensible, so selfish,and so unfeeling...!! Anu wondered.
She spoke to herself and once again confirmed her determination of not committing to anyone in life... One who hardly respected her thoughts, her feelings.. one who was so obfuscated with himself that he hardly looked around...He asked soo many questions.
But she hardly did any.Perhaps she didn't have any curiosity , or perhaps she had all the answers...!!
She had one question to ask "How are you?"..But she didn't ask. Because she thought she would be sad with any of the answers.
It was already very late and she was more than tired physically and mentally.....she thought and thought untill sleep engulped her and relieved her.


THEN :
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali.

Though now, at this moment its not seeming so 'happy' ,to me. After a very hectic day, tolerating some pretty much 'attyachars'(both emosanal and mansic(k).....) of friends, foes and some government employees(They really suck...!!...:X) ,I came back just an hour back. I had a severe headache (same old migraine), so darkened the room and wanted to have a nap....

But ..but.. who lets me to have it now...!!! In spite of all the stars and moons shouting in all the medias possible 'to turn down the volume ' some dumbs , cracks and jerks are having fun throwing those bombs and that today(though they already started 'bombing' few days back I realised the true pain today)....and destroying my sleep and increasing my pain...
I don't understand how can people get and have fun hearing to all sorts of loud, eerie,and strange sounds[also I 'try' to understand at wwhat rate actually people are becoming rich (beyond reach), so that they can afford so much more to make soo loud sounds by burnings MOnEY..!!...why don't they give me some!!!?...:P....:( .....]. I myself never ever , even as a child had fun with these stuffs..

I am not much fond of the firecrackers and stuffs even... That may be because I am a bit scared of fire and heat and a bit conscious about myself..:P(well that's typical of a girl, I know, I know...but who said I have to lack feminine characters being a girl only...:P......~ a bad joke though..!!)
But the light and the fire designed ones are much tolerable , they give pleasant feelings to one's eyes at least .... But how on earth can such loud sounds give people pleasure...!!!!! I really don't understand, rather I don't want to do so...

Police raids in many bomb and firecrackers shops. They don't get any of those bombs either or if they get, they confiscate them all and take those to their own abodes. A friend of mine, daughter of an S.I of police or something like that told me herself that her dad and his companions bring these loud stuffs every year during Kali puja(Diwali) and they have fun... Waaaaoh...!! isn't that great( indeed) ??!!!
How do U expect to abolish crime from somewhere where the guard is only the thief..!!
Anyways no use going in these Hide and Seek game now.... But yeah they spoiled my sleep now, and that caused me to scribble this piece again, as most of the time happens(something urges me to write,and I come and speak out my mind here, though often I also write just like that).

Well, if you like sounds and all I don't have anything to say. Have a happy and safe Diwali...If You don't pay heed to my advices at least have a look at the stars and moons[mo(r)ons] on your TV screen(from Ranvir to sooo many small screen actors and actresses are screaming out there in fact Just for YOUR safety....!!)


HAPPY DIWALI and HAPPY KALIPUJA.

Format.

My computer has been formatted....

The things that I wanted to retain are there....I wanted my collection of 16 GB of music to be untouched, so they are there....But some of my very valuable and precious things I have lost...

Most of the pictures that I had taken,many documents, scripts, E-books,movies are lost from my PC, may be I can recover them(I hope I just can, the recovery softwares always ditches me...:(....) . May be I can get a few of them from other friends. But most of them are lost. So, I am in a bit pensive mood from last evening...I can take pics again , but those pix, those moods perhaps never be again there, they were very special to me .

On this context only , I was thinking ...how it would be , if our -human minds could b Formatted and simultaneously a Good antivirus could have been applied...!!!!

Whatever things we want to retain will be in our mind, and the rest (what we don't want to keep) will be lost forever...!!!! We don't have to carry the things that we really don't wanna bear anymore...how nice it would be ...!!!!

And yeah also the human antivirus ~ that would not allow foreign intruders(bad thoughts and ideas or may be those, that are not good for our mind or health) into us. And often those will be updated..!!!! Now, I cant give an idea how the updation could have been done...:P....

Everything would be fine and satisfying if and only if ,whatever we want can be retained, and whatever we don't would be lost. But if something different happens~ like something like what happened with my PC...(i.e we loose what we want to retain), then?!!!

Someone Lost something that one never wished in one's dreams to loose, then........Then for sure its gonna be a disaster ,may be not for the person as he /she would hardly be anymore able to recognise the missing thing, but to the persons involved with the 'Formatted One'...!!!

I m just afraid at such thoughts..Oh my God....

No, no , No need of Human formatting, AM happy with what I am....
May be someday in future "HUMAN Formatting" and application of "human Antivirus " will be invented...Pros and cons are limitless.....An accurate carrying out of the thing could bring wonderful results, while minute mistakes can cause tremendous effects on the society...

Am happy being not formatted..:)

What about you?
Would you like to be Formatted with a simultaneous application of a 'good' human antivirus....!!! ??? :)

It happens.

It happens....
Don't we use that pretty petty words quiet often.?!! Often they are used to console ourselves by others(and often by us only) and sometimes to console others... By saying those 2 words do we really accept literally that 'it happens'.?!!!

So many times 'it happens' happened in my life. Actually I think it happens in every one's life. Life goes on, so sometimes we just let it happen...or 'it' just happens.... Often I feel just too morose hearing it.Also often I feel sorry saying it to others...but at certain points of time you just have no other words except 'it happens'.

When your best friend does bad in the exam in which he/she studied very well,what can you say except 'it happens'? Yet for that person its not a mere 'it'.
It often may seem a bit queer and weird too, if we go a bit deeper....but who cares...!!!

The thought of whys and hows always instillate and keep on instigating the mind, yet the next time can we really stop 'it' happening.?!!
Because sometimes or many a times in life really 'it' happens, and we have no other options left to take it in some different ways...

TagS.

I have been tagged by Guria , that too 4 times . I am doing all the tags.

TAG# 01 : Brands Tag

These are mostly the brands that I use in my daily life, may be I dont need some of them everyday.

Samsung,LG,Frontech,Creative : My computer darling's assemled parts belongs to these brands...:)


Sony : My Mobile phone, my music system.


Frooti : My favourite soft drinks.


Lakme : My nailpolish, kajal pencil,facewash, toner, moisturiser, sunscreen.


Sandisk : My pendrive and MP3 player.


Diesel : My college bag.


Philips : Tubelights and bulbs and other lighting of house, TV.


Dove : My Soap brands.


Pantene, Sunsilk, Dove,Livon: My haircare products.


Johnson n Johnson : I love it's lotion and facewashes.


Fastrack,Titan : My wristwatches .


Converse : Till now I only have only 1 pair..


Cadbury,Ferrero Rochers : My favourite chocolates.


Honey, Akkriti, Kaleidoscope, Pepe, Bare : Dress brands.

Ohhhh...there are soooooooo many I am exhausted, still there are several names creeping..........



TAG #02 : Innocent... or Guilty?


RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

So here goes the (could be dishonest) answers :

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.

Ever told a lie? Guilty.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.

Kissed a picture? Guilty.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.

Stolen from a store? Innocent.

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent.

Kissed in the rain? Innocent.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.

Shaved your head? Innocent.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty.

Been in a band? Innocent.

Shot a gun? Guilty.

Donated Blood? Innocent.

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty.

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty.

Been too honest? Guilty.

Ruined a surprise? Guilty.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.

Joined a pageant? Guilty.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.

Had communication with your ex? Innocent.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.




TAG #03 : How DUMB are you?


The more [x]’ s the “dumber” you are.


[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking
[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[ ] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself
[ ] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 1

[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[x] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 5

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit .
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[x] You’ve never seen the Matrix.
[x] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 7

[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[ ] You have caught yourself drooling.
[x] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

So far: 8

[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[ ] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 8

[x] You have eaten a bug
[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[ ] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand
[x] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 11

[x] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused
[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before

So far: 12

[ ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall
[ ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

TOTAL: 12



I am (12/37)*100 = 32.43% DUMB !!!.....[:O]




TAG #04 : Questions


RULES: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

1.What is your current obsession? Sleeping and having chocolates.

2. What are you wearing today? Night dress.

3. What’s for dinner? Next is lunch, not dinner.

4. What’s the last thing you bought? Top up card.

5. What are you listening to right now? Jaao na.....

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? A smart, talented Kolkatan..:)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Brussels.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer? Water bottle.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? To Dalhousie (Uttaranchal one)

10. Which language do you want to learn? German.

11. What’s your favourite quote? " 'having' is not so pleasing a thing after all, as 'wanting'."

12. Who do you want to meet right now? None.

13. What is your favourite colour? Pink,Blue, White (Cant select 1)
.
14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet? Jeans and white tees.

15. What is your dream job? Joining BMW.....:D..[:P]

16. What’s your favourite magazine? Puja specials.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? Chocolates, shoes, a house ,then if something is left will give it to you...:)

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? Fusion of Horrible colors(e.g Deep pink n deep yellow), too much of stripes all over..

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon? Haven't thought about that....

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? Being bald is best...

21. What are you going to do after this? Bath.

22. Who is your favourite sport star? Sachin Tendulkar.

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without? I can live without them with great ease.

24. What inspires you? Good results.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: Cant say. I dont keep an account when my what looks work for others' eyes..:)

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)? Old ragged jeans and an old top (time tested ones, that never goes wrong)

27. Coffee or tea? Coffee.

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? I sleep or listen to music and have chocolates.

29. What is the meaning of your name? Like Honey.(:P)

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting? The ones I follow.

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? Chocolates cakes, pastries..anything with chocolate basically.

32. Favorite Season? Winter and Rains.

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me? May be a stuffed Omlette.

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? Just avoid them, Dont talk.

35. What do you love most about yourself? I love the whole self of mine.

My question now ...36. Whats the use of doing this tag?

Now that I am over with the tags I am supposed to tag some people. if you have already done the tags , leave those and do the rest. Well, I am tagging:

Andy
Anoop
abc
Rahul
Leo
Samadrita
Vyshu
Ajai
Venky
Kaka
Soin
Pramoda
Sourav
Divsi
Deeps
Harini
Neha
Rohit
Shruti
Pulkit
Manju
Simba
meow
Swati
Chitwan
Yellow tulip
N J

Well the list is already very long... carry on people ..Happy Tagging....:)

Durga Puja '09

Today is the last day of Durga puja'09.
'Pandal hopping has been the way of life' during the puja days for most of the people in
eastern India, especially Bengal(irrespective of bengalis, non-bengalis and their religions)
.
Everything comes in huge variety at this time of the year, starting from the fashions of Devis and Devs to the style statements of the alive Dev Devis....:), the variety of materials used by the puja committees to make their pandals(where the deities are kept and worshipped and we the people visit them after standing in long long queues for hours..) ranging from wood, clothes ,paper packets, mirrors,tabla,bamboo sticks,conchs and sea shells, bricks,marble,ceramics, plaster of Paris,bottles anything and everything that comes in human imagination (sometimes things are forcefully imagined,and you can well imagine what disasters they make.).

But the days of Pujas are for pure fun and enjoyment. It seems that the city filled with joy,colors, lights and sumptuous delicacies stored and restored all its energies and enthusiasms for this time of the year only. Jovial faces, sparkling smiles, pranks are just too common everywhere. Also Huge number of polices are visible. Dont know where they hide for the rest of the time of the year..!!!(have a look at a pic on right).
You cant be sombre for a moment here at this time. Another thing of the season is the 'ogling session', guys at dudettes and gals at the dudes. Well its somehow a love season, sometimes lost love is revisited and some new loves are acquired.
For me, its the time when I sleep long long hours after pandal-hopping for several hours,
having all the foods I want (having Biriyani for consecutive days forgetting those extra kilos).

In the over-crowded buses,trains, metros and trams you can see lovey-dovey couples everywhere.
Well this puja I went for outings with family only, so didn't have much to talk and observed a lot
(especially faux pas es) which somehow harmed my eyes (though many looked best and many played safe without experimenting much with colors n patterns). May be those are the latest
fashionistas' recommendations, but I some Hated them. Some of them are :
#A big tummied girl wearing a deep purple Top along with ochre yellow Capri, golden sandal.
sky blue painted toes and carrying a maroon handbag...[yuck...!!!]

#A girl showing her underwear label intentionally from the front of her low-waist jeans(not an ultra one, though...[thank God It was not..!!!] ),a
green ice cream spoon tucked in her hip-pocket..[ She tried hard to be a style icon..but alas
for me me she failed..:P]

#A middle aged woman displaying blue undergarment through a deep necked golden yellow blouse.
[no comments please..]

#A young girl wearing a pink legging with a strange geometric patterned long black top.
[Well this one is the most tolerable amongst the others though it looked really weird to me]


Among so many joys and grandeur this year another thing was worth a notice in kolkata, The
number of beggars...Perhaps they have increased exponentially (though many says most of them
are frauds, remember Slumdog??!!). But they are really everywhere(from puja pandals to all over the footpaths) and soo many.Especially
little handicapped children n old ones, You cant help being sad seeing them, yet you cant help
them. A friend of mine said they are all a part of a community which is just meant for that,
and they all have other side businesses. God knows. What does Puja mean to them, for them I wonder often.
Is it merely to income some extra bucks...!!??
P.S: Subho Bijoya To all.