Friday, December 4, 2009

social 'I' 'sing'

I am often termed ‘unsocial’ by my parents ,as I refuse to show up when some guests come(who are pretty much unwanted and unliked by Me). I refuse to go to the ceremonies and rituals that I hardly respect or believe in. I hardly feel like giving a smile to the (oh-)so-acquainted one on road and ask how and what is his/her late(40’s/50’s) child doing…..sorry I am not interested.!

I hate It. I have loads of problems and things in my life to sort out and work out apart from asking others their problems and giving advices to them….I don’t like it, when the parrot-nosed aunty gives a jaunty smile to my mom and says her, pointing at me “
Your girl is nice, but she din’t grow so much tall like you?!”. I feel like asking “Do you have doubts on your eyesights? And why my dear? Did you have any very tall eligible bachelor roaming about in your mind(for me)?...”…:P….
Alas!!! I can’t ask that ….can only make arcs, curves, parabolas, hyperbolas by my lips and cheeks…![..:(. ,.:),.:D.,:P.,.:O,.:X….]

Society------ We are social beings living here. These days the so-called social creatures are hardly to be found by the sides when needed most,but are always present to criticise behind curtains and throw inquisitive glances,and often stares too..(well, I do agree that I am myself one of that lot.Don’t know whether people like me made the society like this or the society compelled in making people like me…I think in some case its relative and in some cases directly proportional)

I dislike a thousand such stuffs. Another widespread _______(don’t know what to say it -custom/ ritual/ social norm/ responsibility?!) is attending marriages, death rituals, anniversaries,parties, divorces (and don’t know what else..) often inspite of not feeling like going(in some cases I and we obviously feel like going, now don’t say you always like and feel like going to such places,I won’t believe that even if you say..!..:P).
But yet,it’s a must. WHY? Because when it will be your turn they won’t come , and being a social being, during any sorrow or happiness others’ presence is indispensible..!.

I am not much interested to go to my NRI cousin’s marriage. My mom states: “
Well, you don’t go . But then don’t expect them at your marriage or your child’s rice-eating ceremony.”. “My dear dear mom I am not a graduate yet, and you have gone so soo far..Well I don’t expect others to come..

In this cases I am a great fan of Ayn Rand(in case you also are , I hope I don’t need to explain). She says we all live for oursleves and we should do what we feel will be good for our selves only,never to do charity, to get what we deserve, do obtain what we want, to achieve what we dream.

On this context  I remembered that particular SMS(don’t know whether it’s truly related to the context or not):

At marriages old ppl used 2 pull my cheeks n say “u r nxt”….They stopped wen I strtd doin d same at funerals.What a crazy World.!!

Well, now what do you say? Do you like always like socialising ?[keep the thought of gaping and stomach-worship away for a moment….:)…]


Ashish said...

yeah am also back after a attending a marriage function of one of my uncles... will write about that :)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Rimz...

sometimes, some how i too fee the same.. but yaa we need to make our presence sometimes..

very good one..:)

Anonymous said...

hmmm...i love to socialize but still prefer to sit back home coz i hate ppl back biting and their comments .! As you said , they wnt be ther wen we need them , but to criticize they vl always b in somtyms we dnt gt choice but to socialize for 'name' sake ..

Anu...:) said...

You are right of course.In the name of socalising,loads of hypocrisy is involved.But that does not mean we completely isolate ourselves from the society we live in.
All we need,is striking a balance!:)

Ekam said...

Hehe ... you are just like me.. I don't understand when i don't know the person much but i still have to attend their functions because it feels good to them.. huh! And i am going to such a wedding on this sunday :D again!!!

Anoop said...

rimz... :D

even i hate goin to ceremonies n all those whr ppl gather..i kinda hate it.. my father used to ask me will i go for my marriage... khe khe khe... ;)

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

I am not much into socializing....solely for one reason..i have to stick to my artificial smile and say 100's of lies which they want to listen.

On top of that, i am one of most eligible bachelors in my family and i dont their eyes to fall on me either. My freedom is important to me :)

Ayn Rand ?? you are tempting me to read her that biggggggggg book...

that SMS is perfectly suited.. i was shocked for an seemed so perfect...

Another good piece from you rimz :)

divsi said...

nice one...
rimzy is spewing lava on her unwanted guests..:p [i can imagine] hehe
seriusly i can relate to this...
ppl dont pull my cheeks i wud ve whacked them then n there...but i hate the smiles that u hav to give n talk to unknown ppl bout vague things..n nod ya head ..[thats precisely y i dont go to functions wer i dunt hav any known frn!]:)

malvi said...

ahhha...dts awesome... jst as ya said i visit d parties fr gaping at guys n good food only at times...hihi..
nice post ..keep it up...:)

abc said...

you speak mind girlie.... as u say most ppl outta here dnt like dt showy things. m nt an exception too. i hate such evnts...

Raj - Only name sake !! said...

I hate socialising so being a boy I say in their face I am not interested in attending other crappy fucntions!!
People termed me as adamant and egoist.
I never care!! I love Ayn Rand and I am like Howard Roark , not perfect but a big egoist.
Very nice post Rimz , you know what heart feels.

You will have a fantastic life for sure!!

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

hmm..its not that i hate socializing but im trying at least to socialize..its like an obligation..but i like your have a point..and sometimes i really feel socializing with people is the terms of circumstances..even in greeting a person in a road..sometimes i was force to do it but through..i learned that i shouldn't..anyway..>_<

chocolate lover said...

On this subject.. am like you..
I too don't like socialising..
Am happy in my own world :)
hehehe LoL SaMe PinCh!!!!

Yellow Tulip said...

yaa dear i'm with u...i kind of hate tat too..i hate pretence n gossips...

Krishanu said...

"......I shall choose friends among men, but neither slaves nor masters. And I shall choose only such as please me, and them I shall love and respect, but neither command nor obey. And we shall join our hands when we wish, or walk alone when we so desire....."

I think this is way to principle or in "objectivism"....

Still blogging is also a way to socialize...over the world wide web...

but in a way Miss Rand wanted..."..when we so desire.."

Rajlakshmi said...

hey same pinch... i guess i am not the only one who tries to becomes invisible when the guests arrive :P
// always present to criticise behind curtains and throw inquisitive glances,// how true it is... so i don't give a damn to them... they never think for the better of others...
nice post...

Rohit Dassani said...

God...dont do that....its ok your a budding teenager...things will be fine....dont have to show up!! Dont think u dont need one point in time u will need them tooo!!

Harini said...

Tell me about it...

Everytime i have to go to these so called family gathering where I hardly recognize any one i first spend some time in front of mirror trying to come up with that perfect smile. I smile so much that day and to everyone who smiles at me that by the end of the night i think that my mouth will take that shape that stay like that forever.

Vittaldas Prabhu said...

I am only speculating here. I share "all" the thoughts you have presented here. Socialising has been somehow drained out of me. The other day my mother wanted me to come with her to a baby shower of "some" lady's daughter-in-law. I didn't know who the lady was and certainly not the daughter-in-law. But I "had" to go because I did not want to turn down and disappoint my mother. Sometimes we do a lot of things for other people's good.

But what is quite disheartening to know is that we are so influenced by foreign authors. The defiance they portray is something we are able to connect to instantly. This attitude of "I don't need anyone. Don't do charity." and the likes is quite overpowering. It moves us so much by harnessing our anxiety and insecurities. But believe me, socialising to a certain extent, as much as smiling and saying "I am really sorry, I don't really remember your name", does do a world of good.

We are social animals. We are not here to rule the world. We are here to co-exist and we damn well co-exist. So what I actually want to say here is that, at the age you and I are in we are bound to be brash (and I am one undoubtedly; no point denying that). But more I contemplate on why we need a "society" the more clearer it becomes and that we must lead a life with people around us.

I guess I bored you to death and you must have cast me into one of those stereotypical parrot-beak aunties. Believe me, I am not that. :-)

Anonymous said...

Understandable regrets. Dont even bother going around socializing when there is no fun .Even if I have to, I just keep low profile and keep to a particular section of the crowd. In general I hate going to ceremonies unless ahem.. there is awesome food :) Also to have random sensible conversations with cute looking gals :D

rimz said...

ya read dt.

ya u r rite dear..:)

haha..wat i see here most ppl do agree wid me, not bad..i like dt..:)

u r somehow rite, we need to strike blnce dts imp..:)

hope ur wedding party went nice.actualyy not u n me but most youth r same..:)

ya, by now i know u too hate dat(frm ur posts obviusly..):P

best o luck mr eligible...:)
n happy smiling too.
ya u shud try Ay rand soon before becoming 'ineligible'..:P

haha... ya, hwevr we hate we hve to give fake smiles at times..:( sad enuf...
n happy whacking at ppl.:)

thanku dearie.. kip coming.

thankyou dear, hope i cn alwys do dt. tk cre..:)

thanku n same to u too. so c, most of us here hate socialising....

u r too rite, sometimes socialising is like an othr way to b found other dan attending...:(

thanku sweetie..ya its same fr ol of us..:)

@yello tulip:
so, we find most of us are alwys together...:)dts nice indeed....

well u r among one of d most intellectual lopt, i kow dt... i dint say i hate ol sorts of socialising.. blogging is a just vent of my life yaar, none has the time to tolerate my jabberings except my blog...:)


u r saying exactly wat my mom says,,,:)hehe...

haha, u r rite. i agree wid u..

ohh such a nice long comment, i ws not bored at ol, actually i love long comments..
:) its nice to c so many ppl share same views...

thanku so much for such sweet encouragements.. ssame to u. tk cre...:)

Sorcerer said... functions..
I avoid them.
I have better things to do like... sitting in a corner and doing retrospection and introspection.

Kishan said...

Awesome post. I can relate to this, especially attending weddings part.

Last year, on my trip to India, I had to attend a friend's wedding and that was the time when my parents were forcing me to see and talk to girls and I was going through a mental breakdown and was pondering over and over about the whole arranged marriage stuff and how fake that all is.

My opinions in that institution were confirmed after I attended my friend's wedding (that I had to) and witnessed first hand the artificiality of the whole process. People from all over who did not even know guy came to "bless" the couple who barely knew each other. I can never understand the glee on their faces and those attending such occasions.


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