Wednesday, July 2, 2008

MISTAKES.....

Mistakes ~~the name is somehow inspired by Chetan Bhagat's latest novel, but in noway it's contents are related with the novel's ,coz i havnt yet got the chance and time to go thru d Novel.





According to me 'Ideal Mistakes' just like Ideal Gases(following gas law PV=nRT) hardly exist, But 'Real mistakes' do.



By Ideal mistakes ,I mean Mistakes dat seem wrong from all and every viewpoints irrespective of any time.



Mistakes~ It's quiet an ambiguous and apparent term to me. The particular thing which may seem alrite at dis moment may be proved a tremendously wrong one after few moments, may be due to the change of circumstance, time or age. Also the way round i.e a thing thats seeming to be a damn idiotic mistake may be proved a nice decision some time later.
Also the thing varies from person to person.The thing that is pretty nice to me, may be erroneous in some else' eyes; and the thing that is damn wrong according to me, may be OK to you.



So, time plays quiet a vital role in givin the tag 'mistake' or 'right'.






In my life i have done loads of mistakes.......Often it evn seems to me d number of mistakes done by me in my life , far surpasses the number of "right things" done by me.


Well, at times i feel : "no" they were not really wrong ,as i just gave indulgence in watevr my heart said.And the world of famous and evn 'not-so' famous ppl keep on saying "Do watevr ur heart says." Then most of my mistakes are not really mistakes, as i did so only bcz i felt like doing so.




Hopefully m not confusing my readers with my concept of mistakes.



Often ppl say they dont get what i say, or what actually i mean to say. I dnt kno whether it's my mistake or their's. I feel my wavelength does nt match with most of those ppl who dont get me(Pathetic enuf, very very less ppl on earth really do get me except my dearest Mom).



Even ,i often get confused n puzzled n go crazzy to find out wat actually i do wanna achieve.
And my damn hearts stops talkin den..





Often it seems i am very happy and i was just born to be a Mechanical engineer and n just get content with it and enjoying the lessons, other time round, i feel like ,taking up this stream was one of the 'ultra' mistakes of my life..:( :( ......I feel like i m not made for these craps~ forging, welding, gascutting n ol dose stuffz; only My LOrd knows how i manage it ol ...[but ya i feel proud aftr doin dose , which are really often done by galz..:) ].

From quiet my early teenage i believe, rather still believe i loved(rather still love) someone.
It was quiet an "thikthak" thing to me, though others persisted it was just a mere crush or infatuation. i argued them for long hrs, ki it was love, as infatuation cant last for 7 long yrs.
In turn they said : how can i love someone about whom i hardly knew anything, n evn dint memorise his face properly.

But i believed i love him.One day proving all other protagonists of the arguers wrong, fate brought him near me and due to Cupid's conspiracy he became an indispensible part of my life and mind too . But it dint last for long and the relation broke off.Well, again m not gonna start whose mistake it really was.Some of our common frnds say it was mine, some say his, some say bothways, whereas some intellectual hickories opine, it was neither my fault not his, it was the fault of the reLation that was never built nicely .....I go gaga jst hearin awl dese stuffz, but hardly pay real heed to anyone's opinion.Continue livin jst like me. Person on the other end of the relation doesnt hold me responsible for the break up, even admires me for telling the truth nd mind out.


Its almost five months am not in the relation anymore.But i really dont know whether i did a mistake by comin out from the relation.
In due course of time, it has come to my knowledge,that, though my momma liked him, my dad dint like him much.I dint like the later fact.

But m happy neither way actually~ m neither ready to get back in the relation again, nor happy widout him.Now, the question is what was the mistake n where it lied....?!!
I am fed up with my mistakes.....When will they really fade???!!!!






Now, comes a mere incident with one of my closest colg pal(suppose whose name is A).We 'used' to be the bestest of frnds.
But this guy had a typical insecurity complex, that is not quiet very common of boys. We were supposed make a PPT(power point presentation), whose topic was given by our teacher and also the group arrangement was done by the teacher.

Now, this guy got a group in which none of the guys nevr had much interaction with him, and the topic needed much discussion amongst the members.
The topic for my group was "world war II" that was pretty enuf to awestruck me, as i am a Huge dumbo in history(though i managed a modest 80 in my X th std board exam).A guy was in my group who used to be a closed frnd of both me and A.

I was only a bit relieved as this guy of my group said me ki he has quiet enuf knowledge about history and particularly on our topic.

Now Mr. A was not at ol a bit pleased with his group members and topic also.So ,without my knowledge and without evn letting me get a bit hint , he went to the teacher along with the guy of my group(who claimed to kno many things abt history and relieved me to some extent) and another one guy of his choice.They made their 3-musketeers group with the brand new topic "NASA". All this happened on a Friday.

And Mr. A called me up on Sunday and spoke casually, without mentioning anything on that topic .It was only when i said ,ki i was a bit relieved due to the guy of my group, he said me maintaining his casual tone , what 'actually' took place.I felt like shivering and the ground below me shook a little.

I really had nothin to say him. I just cut the fone after a very few formal words, and was almost on the verge of crying as the project was in next 15 days and a huge load was on my shoulder, as none other members of my grp had Internet in their home....

I dont know again, whose fault it really was, may be i expected more from a friend being a friend.but this incident kept me well aloof from these guys for quiet a pretty long time. Now, as i hve already mentioned A used to be the bestest of my frnds, aftr sometime i started talking to him, wen he said he really dint understand, why d hell on earth i stopped talkin to him and avoiding him....!!!!!

Grudges stay in mind , u kno, aftr few days ,in course of a very casual talk we agn had a collision and this time face to face n in words.Mr. A declared he doesnt care whether i talk to him or not, and It was I ,not him who talked first last time...!!!!!!!............This was tooo much for me to bear.I cried in class(How idiotic it was, Crying in colg, dats too in a dept. , where all other student are boys......my gosh).

But i hardly talked to him after this incident , except a few incidents like wishing him happy B'day, best o luck, n exchage of a few words in examination hall(well, by this time its quiet an indispensible thing...!!!:P).

Dont know whose 'Mistake' it really was.

Well, no use now of drivin you nuts now..:P..

2 comments:

acidVox said...

when u want to , cry ! whether u do it in a dark room alone , or in your class its no matter ...letting out pent up emotions is essential

yofiel said...

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.

This is what I believe and I don't expect others to but sharing a few..

Nice perception about yourself. Keep blogging ....

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