Random thoughts.

I wonder how the crowd has encircled me.
Early teenage solitude seems a bliss now.
Works to be done, responsibilities to be carried out.
Going gaga for various things at various times.

Just Dreaming to be alone now.
Who will let me ,to be so?

Often I feel lost in these
Dastardly earthy hues.
So much ears, so much eyes
Open just for me?
Just to praise or criticise me.!?
Or just they pretend..!!!
I hear and see so much of them.
Never felt so crowded ever before...

Zonked of hearing the jabberings.
Euphorian dreams exhorting the cravenly mind.
Yet...
I need some space, some solitude
Some bliss.

Its not:
"The tyrant claims freedom to kill freedom".
I have plenty of it.
Yet the 'yet' remains.
I am confused,
I am lost
Nowhere....

Just another Story. Part-1

Its almost two years now ,of break up between Anu and Rohit.

Anu loved Rohit from the time she started understanding the meaning of 'love', in her early teenage.But ,destiny played game with her.
He moved far away from her, with no scope of contact and rohit had no idea about her feelings at all. They were not friends, not among relatives even, they just knew each other..

Some seven years later they met. Anu was overwhelmed, just by realising Rohit recognised her face , seen long seven years back. Nothing went wrong then onwards. Rohit approached her and proposed her even, which was almost a chimera to Anu for years. So many people told her and tried to convince her that she couldn't wait for someone or 'just' love someone without seeing or even knowing much about him,  for soo many years . But she did, at least, then she believed she did.
Time passed on . Those were the happiest days of her life. Those moments, those thoughts , feelings...yeah,she got the man she loved , though she never desired. She loved without any expectations. she loved without a little bit of hope of getting Rohit ever in her life. So when in reality things happened that way  ,it was not really a dream come true for her. She never dreamt of that. She prayed for him, loved him, even wished him to be happy with someone else if he was in love with someone else( she
had no idea though what was going in his life or whether at all anyone was in his life).

Good times never lasts. It was not an exception for Anu's airy-fairy tale and her hunky-dory world.
They broke up. She was having adjustment problems. A number of times she started feeeling she was insulted , her morale, her principles were looked down upon, and often crushed even. She couldn't tolerate all those. As they were together ,breaking all prognostications, they parted breaking all predictions.

He was first in her life, but she was not the first one in his life. After Anu and Rohit broke up, Rohit went back to his first girlfriend(oops love..!) who claimed she always loved him , though Rohit left her due to some mere misunderstandings.
But Anu was alone. She loved to live that way, without inculcating any other 'especial' person in her life. She was happy being alone. She had no expectations from anyone.
The only thing changed in her was her mentality. She was determined not to be committed again. She was prepared to lead the rest of her life by her own. She didn't feel anybody's need in her life any more.

Days passed.
Rohit was traversing his ups and downs of life with another girl by his side --- this thought often hurt Anu, and often she was satisfied and happy thinking Rohit was no longer morosed for her,he was no longer living their memories as Anu still did.

Two years later on Rohit's birthday Anu wished him via SMS,not a call. He thanked and called her. It was 12.26 A.M. The conversation went. ...


Rohit[R]: Hello....

Anu [A]: Hello.

Rohit: how are you?

Anu: I am well as always...

R: Good.

A: yeah I know.

R: so.... whats going in your life?

A: studies, exams, gossips , music and everything thats required for me and myself.

R: Well thats essential part of life. What else, whats goin on in your personal life? Is there anyone now in your.......

A: No, I didn't feel any requirement of anyone else in my life. And what all happened in my life even if I blame someone,Its me.....

R: You are still very angry on me, right?

A: Why should I be? I am happy with whatever life gifted me. I never thought of getting it. I have no objections or complaints against anyone. And I don't blame myself generally, Cause I love myself the most on earth.And well the way I felt myself to be insulted, I want none any more. What do you think if you now wish me to be back in your life I'll be...Never.

R: Hmmmm ...Good, thats very good ki you don't blame yourself....

A: yeah I know, and apart from that there are actually soo many things going on in my life. Each week rather each day of my life is eventful for me...

R: Do you still remember me often?

A: Why should I?

R: Answer my question.

A: (Anu's voice started trembling and cracking....) Why should I remember You?

R: You are lieing...I know you are. Have some water now.

A: Yeah I had, Why should I lie?

R: Can't you answer a single answer properly and straight? You are not in your best manners now....

A: If I am not, Well I can't behave better than this....

R: You have remained the same...

A: Hmmm....

R: I am feeling sorry now, I didn't wish you on your b'day. Actually something very wrong was or is still going on in my life..I'll tell you someday....Sorry I didn't wish you...

A: Doesn't matter. I didn't expect or want anyone's wish.

Rahul: Well I didn't ask for your opinion, I said I felt sorry for not wishing...Actually today after coming out of office all of a sudden I remembered you...

Anu: ok ok....sorry...

R: Hmm.. so now ,can I give you a call ,often?

A: Whats the use?

R: Why don't you answer a single question clearly...Can I call you?

A: No, please no, No need. I am happy with the past memories, I don't want to refresh them And I don't want you as my friend or brother or any other thing on earth. I loved You and I still cherish many of my memories with you. Its better to relish ice-cream frozen and chicken soup hot... Will you like them the
other way round??

R: hmmm okk....so... now go to sleep...

A: hmm ok(no words were coming out now)..bye. good night...

And She hung up.... Then she burst into her usual tears. But this time this phone call made her stronger. She felt bad when he asked him whether she still remembers him or not, whether he can still call her or not..Didn't he really knows the answers.!
So what was his purpose?! To cool her down and consolate her, Or her first love again left him and he wanted Anu back.!!
Why are some rather most men so insensible, so selfish,and so unfeeling...!! Anu wondered.
She spoke to herself and once again confirmed her determination of not committing to anyone in life... One who hardly respected her thoughts, her feelings.. one who was so obfuscated with himself that he hardly looked around...He asked soo many questions.
But she hardly did any.Perhaps she didn't have any curiosity , or perhaps she had all the answers...!!
She had one question to ask "How are you?"..But she didn't ask. Because she thought she would be sad with any of the answers.
It was already very late and she was more than tired physically and mentally.....she thought and thought untill sleep engulped her and relieved her.


THEN :
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali.

Though now, at this moment its not seeming so 'happy' ,to me. After a very hectic day, tolerating some pretty much 'attyachars'(both emosanal and mansic(k).....) of friends, foes and some government employees(They really suck...!!...:X) ,I came back just an hour back. I had a severe headache (same old migraine), so darkened the room and wanted to have a nap....

But ..but.. who lets me to have it now...!!! In spite of all the stars and moons shouting in all the medias possible 'to turn down the volume ' some dumbs , cracks and jerks are having fun throwing those bombs and that today(though they already started 'bombing' few days back I realised the true pain today)....and destroying my sleep and increasing my pain...
I don't understand how can people get and have fun hearing to all sorts of loud, eerie,and strange sounds[also I 'try' to understand at wwhat rate actually people are becoming rich (beyond reach), so that they can afford so much more to make soo loud sounds by burnings MOnEY..!!...why don't they give me some!!!?...:P....:( .....]. I myself never ever , even as a child had fun with these stuffs..

I am not much fond of the firecrackers and stuffs even... That may be because I am a bit scared of fire and heat and a bit conscious about myself..:P(well that's typical of a girl, I know, I know...but who said I have to lack feminine characters being a girl only...:P......~ a bad joke though..!!)
But the light and the fire designed ones are much tolerable , they give pleasant feelings to one's eyes at least .... But how on earth can such loud sounds give people pleasure...!!!!! I really don't understand, rather I don't want to do so...

Police raids in many bomb and firecrackers shops. They don't get any of those bombs either or if they get, they confiscate them all and take those to their own abodes. A friend of mine, daughter of an S.I of police or something like that told me herself that her dad and his companions bring these loud stuffs every year during Kali puja(Diwali) and they have fun... Waaaaoh...!! isn't that great( indeed) ??!!!
How do U expect to abolish crime from somewhere where the guard is only the thief..!!
Anyways no use going in these Hide and Seek game now.... But yeah they spoiled my sleep now, and that caused me to scribble this piece again, as most of the time happens(something urges me to write,and I come and speak out my mind here, though often I also write just like that).

Well, if you like sounds and all I don't have anything to say. Have a happy and safe Diwali...If You don't pay heed to my advices at least have a look at the stars and moons[mo(r)ons] on your TV screen(from Ranvir to sooo many small screen actors and actresses are screaming out there in fact Just for YOUR safety....!!)


HAPPY DIWALI and HAPPY KALIPUJA.

Format.

My computer has been formatted....

The things that I wanted to retain are there....I wanted my collection of 16 GB of music to be untouched, so they are there....But some of my very valuable and precious things I have lost...

Most of the pictures that I had taken,many documents, scripts, E-books,movies are lost from my PC, may be I can recover them(I hope I just can, the recovery softwares always ditches me...:(....) . May be I can get a few of them from other friends. But most of them are lost. So, I am in a bit pensive mood from last evening...I can take pics again , but those pix, those moods perhaps never be again there, they were very special to me .

On this context only , I was thinking ...how it would be , if our -human minds could b Formatted and simultaneously a Good antivirus could have been applied...!!!!

Whatever things we want to retain will be in our mind, and the rest (what we don't want to keep) will be lost forever...!!!! We don't have to carry the things that we really don't wanna bear anymore...how nice it would be ...!!!!

And yeah also the human antivirus ~ that would not allow foreign intruders(bad thoughts and ideas or may be those, that are not good for our mind or health) into us. And often those will be updated..!!!! Now, I cant give an idea how the updation could have been done...:P....

Everything would be fine and satisfying if and only if ,whatever we want can be retained, and whatever we don't would be lost. But if something different happens~ like something like what happened with my PC...(i.e we loose what we want to retain), then?!!!

Someone Lost something that one never wished in one's dreams to loose, then........Then for sure its gonna be a disaster ,may be not for the person as he /she would hardly be anymore able to recognise the missing thing, but to the persons involved with the 'Formatted One'...!!!

I m just afraid at such thoughts..Oh my God....

No, no , No need of Human formatting, AM happy with what I am....
May be someday in future "HUMAN Formatting" and application of "human Antivirus " will be invented...Pros and cons are limitless.....An accurate carrying out of the thing could bring wonderful results, while minute mistakes can cause tremendous effects on the society...

Am happy being not formatted..:)

What about you?
Would you like to be Formatted with a simultaneous application of a 'good' human antivirus....!!! ??? :)

It happens.

It happens....
Don't we use that pretty petty words quiet often.?!! Often they are used to console ourselves by others(and often by us only) and sometimes to console others... By saying those 2 words do we really accept literally that 'it happens'.?!!!

So many times 'it happens' happened in my life. Actually I think it happens in every one's life. Life goes on, so sometimes we just let it happen...or 'it' just happens.... Often I feel just too morose hearing it.Also often I feel sorry saying it to others...but at certain points of time you just have no other words except 'it happens'.

When your best friend does bad in the exam in which he/she studied very well,what can you say except 'it happens'? Yet for that person its not a mere 'it'.
It often may seem a bit queer and weird too, if we go a bit deeper....but who cares...!!!

The thought of whys and hows always instillate and keep on instigating the mind, yet the next time can we really stop 'it' happening.?!!
Because sometimes or many a times in life really 'it' happens, and we have no other options left to take it in some different ways...

TagS.

I have been tagged by Guria , that too 4 times . I am doing all the tags.

TAG# 01 : Brands Tag

These are mostly the brands that I use in my daily life, may be I dont need some of them everyday.

Samsung,LG,Frontech,Creative : My computer darling's assemled parts belongs to these brands...:)


Sony : My Mobile phone, my music system.


Frooti : My favourite soft drinks.


Lakme : My nailpolish, kajal pencil,facewash, toner, moisturiser, sunscreen.


Sandisk : My pendrive and MP3 player.


Diesel : My college bag.


Philips : Tubelights and bulbs and other lighting of house, TV.


Dove : My Soap brands.


Pantene, Sunsilk, Dove,Livon: My haircare products.


Johnson n Johnson : I love it's lotion and facewashes.


Fastrack,Titan : My wristwatches .


Converse : Till now I only have only 1 pair..


Cadbury,Ferrero Rochers : My favourite chocolates.


Honey, Akkriti, Kaleidoscope, Pepe, Bare : Dress brands.

Ohhhh...there are soooooooo many I am exhausted, still there are several names creeping..........



TAG #02 : Innocent... or Guilty?


RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

So here goes the (could be dishonest) answers :

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.

Ever told a lie? Guilty.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.

Kissed a picture? Guilty.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.

Stolen from a store? Innocent.

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent.

Kissed in the rain? Innocent.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.

Shaved your head? Innocent.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty.

Been in a band? Innocent.

Shot a gun? Guilty.

Donated Blood? Innocent.

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty.

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty.

Been too honest? Guilty.

Ruined a surprise? Guilty.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.

Joined a pageant? Guilty.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.

Had communication with your ex? Innocent.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.




TAG #03 : How DUMB are you?


The more [x]’ s the “dumber” you are.


[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking
[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[ ] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself
[ ] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 1

[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[x] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 5

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit .
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[x] You’ve never seen the Matrix.
[x] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 7

[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[ ] You have caught yourself drooling.
[x] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

So far: 8

[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[ ] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 8

[x] You have eaten a bug
[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[ ] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand
[x] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 11

[x] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused
[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before

So far: 12

[ ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall
[ ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

TOTAL: 12



I am (12/37)*100 = 32.43% DUMB !!!.....[:O]




TAG #04 : Questions


RULES: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

1.What is your current obsession? Sleeping and having chocolates.

2. What are you wearing today? Night dress.

3. What’s for dinner? Next is lunch, not dinner.

4. What’s the last thing you bought? Top up card.

5. What are you listening to right now? Jaao na.....

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? A smart, talented Kolkatan..:)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Brussels.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer? Water bottle.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? To Dalhousie (Uttaranchal one)

10. Which language do you want to learn? German.

11. What’s your favourite quote? " 'having' is not so pleasing a thing after all, as 'wanting'."

12. Who do you want to meet right now? None.

13. What is your favourite colour? Pink,Blue, White (Cant select 1)
.
14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet? Jeans and white tees.

15. What is your dream job? Joining BMW.....:D..[:P]

16. What’s your favourite magazine? Puja specials.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? Chocolates, shoes, a house ,then if something is left will give it to you...:)

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? Fusion of Horrible colors(e.g Deep pink n deep yellow), too much of stripes all over..

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon? Haven't thought about that....

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? Being bald is best...

21. What are you going to do after this? Bath.

22. Who is your favourite sport star? Sachin Tendulkar.

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without? I can live without them with great ease.

24. What inspires you? Good results.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: Cant say. I dont keep an account when my what looks work for others' eyes..:)

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)? Old ragged jeans and an old top (time tested ones, that never goes wrong)

27. Coffee or tea? Coffee.

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? I sleep or listen to music and have chocolates.

29. What is the meaning of your name? Like Honey.(:P)

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting? The ones I follow.

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? Chocolates cakes, pastries..anything with chocolate basically.

32. Favorite Season? Winter and Rains.

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me? May be a stuffed Omlette.

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? Just avoid them, Dont talk.

35. What do you love most about yourself? I love the whole self of mine.

My question now ...36. Whats the use of doing this tag?

Now that I am over with the tags I am supposed to tag some people. if you have already done the tags , leave those and do the rest. Well, I am tagging:

Andy
Anoop
abc
Rahul
Leo
Samadrita
Vyshu
Ajai
Venky
Kaka
Soin
Pramoda
Sourav
Divsi
Deeps
Harini
Neha
Rohit
Shruti
Pulkit
Manju
Simba
meow
Swati
Chitwan
Yellow tulip
N J

Well the list is already very long... carry on people ..Happy Tagging....:)

Durga Puja '09

Today is the last day of Durga puja'09.
'Pandal hopping has been the way of life' during the puja days for most of the people in
eastern India, especially Bengal(irrespective of bengalis, non-bengalis and their religions)
.
Everything comes in huge variety at this time of the year, starting from the fashions of Devis and Devs to the style statements of the alive Dev Devis....:), the variety of materials used by the puja committees to make their pandals(where the deities are kept and worshipped and we the people visit them after standing in long long queues for hours..) ranging from wood, clothes ,paper packets, mirrors,tabla,bamboo sticks,conchs and sea shells, bricks,marble,ceramics, plaster of Paris,bottles anything and everything that comes in human imagination (sometimes things are forcefully imagined,and you can well imagine what disasters they make.).

But the days of Pujas are for pure fun and enjoyment. It seems that the city filled with joy,colors, lights and sumptuous delicacies stored and restored all its energies and enthusiasms for this time of the year only. Jovial faces, sparkling smiles, pranks are just too common everywhere. Also Huge number of polices are visible. Dont know where they hide for the rest of the time of the year..!!!(have a look at a pic on right).
You cant be sombre for a moment here at this time. Another thing of the season is the 'ogling session', guys at dudettes and gals at the dudes. Well its somehow a love season, sometimes lost love is revisited and some new loves are acquired.
For me, its the time when I sleep long long hours after pandal-hopping for several hours,
having all the foods I want (having Biriyani for consecutive days forgetting those extra kilos).

In the over-crowded buses,trains, metros and trams you can see lovey-dovey couples everywhere.
Well this puja I went for outings with family only, so didn't have much to talk and observed a lot
(especially faux pas es) which somehow harmed my eyes (though many looked best and many played safe without experimenting much with colors n patterns). May be those are the latest
fashionistas' recommendations, but I some Hated them. Some of them are :
#A big tummied girl wearing a deep purple Top along with ochre yellow Capri, golden sandal.
sky blue painted toes and carrying a maroon handbag...[yuck...!!!]

#A girl showing her underwear label intentionally from the front of her low-waist jeans(not an ultra one, though...[thank God It was not..!!!] ),a
green ice cream spoon tucked in her hip-pocket..[ She tried hard to be a style icon..but alas
for me me she failed..:P]

#A middle aged woman displaying blue undergarment through a deep necked golden yellow blouse.
[no comments please..]

#A young girl wearing a pink legging with a strange geometric patterned long black top.
[Well this one is the most tolerable amongst the others though it looked really weird to me]


Among so many joys and grandeur this year another thing was worth a notice in kolkata, The
number of beggars...Perhaps they have increased exponentially (though many says most of them
are frauds, remember Slumdog??!!). But they are really everywhere(from puja pandals to all over the footpaths) and soo many.Especially
little handicapped children n old ones, You cant help being sad seeing them, yet you cant help
them. A friend of mine said they are all a part of a community which is just meant for that,
and they all have other side businesses. God knows. What does Puja mean to them, for them I wonder often.
Is it merely to income some extra bucks...!!??
P.S: Subho Bijoya To all.