Just another Story. Part-5

CONTINUED FROM:  
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2   
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4

Things started getting well. Anu forgetting her momentary discomfort went to see Rishi in hospital whose condition was serious. This was one of the rare times of Anu's life when things didn't worsen. Rishi convalesced soon, somehow may be due to the mental backbone ,that was once again provided by Anu for her best friend. Life became normal for them, though Anu often thought of the future and could never reach any conclusion. For Rishi , future hardly mattered at present, cause at present he was not able to live without 'her' presence anyhow, a single day.
Life apparently became like before. Though from Anu's side it was never the same. 'Rishu' was
'Rishi' now, 'tere jaisa yara kahaan...' ringtone was removed;which was set for 'Rishu's' calls only.

She had some problem in accepting the fact of her best friend loving her so madly.Rishi's doings and manners reminded her again and again he loves her, but not just as a 'best friend'.
Things were going fine, until Rishi wanted to discuss the fact, that its quiet natural for best friends to fall in love,things turned up in different hues all the more because it was a phone conversation and not face to face.


Rishi(R): See, its nothing bad, its universally accepted that best friends turn best partners.(he was talking not for
persuading her to accept the proposal, he was talking just to make things clear)

Anu(A): Please ,I don't want to discuss this topic. I don't care what the universe says. Universe says many things. It only matters what I think.
It's a sort of betrayal for me.....(Anu's voice  started choking).

R: I don't understand what's betrayal over here.....Listen, I thought over this for long time,then only reached the fact that yes I......

A: Oooo, so you had that intention for long......

R: Ahh..as usual you are not getting me. Intentions remain there where girls are targetted..but I never had anything.I liked
 You in the course of interaction with you... I never started with an intention of approaching you....

A: I donno, You all are same .I hate you people. just get away from my life. If you need me I'll always be there, and if I need you,
I am enough selfish to ask for that.. so no use now in staying in this 'oh-so-precious-friendship'. I don't bother about.....

R: I know you don't bother.I know you can live without those things, but I can't. I know if I move away, you won't be having any trouble. You are
strong and brave,I am not. I'll not be able to take it...

A: (trembling voice,her mind was wandering in search of words).... Am keeping the phone now...

R: Lis..........
Ting.
Half an hour later an sms entered Anu's mobile:

"I hve done big mistakes.Sory fr evrything I hve done in past yrs. sorry for not understanding u ever. i'm really a kid, i never undrstood i wud get such behaviour frm u fr my feelings.bt i cnt resist myself doin dt,srry fr dat also. i ws sufring frm d frustrtion ki, none undrstnds me, now dt wil persist.let it be.i m staying where i am,i m ready to face watevr wil b hapning now,nobody cares. i also dnt care.watevr u wanted things wil b like dat,u cary on.
Good luck L...
take care,bye.
Hope u will be happy from now."

For moments Anu was blank.She could'nt follow up what's going on...
Then she smsed rishi,that didn't reach his mobile as it was switched off.
Then she opened up her diary and started writing:

Dear diary,happy new year.
You can never be best friends with your best buddy, after you discover he loves you and you don't have such feelings for him.
And it's worse when you cannot explain to him why you can't be best buddies anymore. But it's a fact, you can't be. You can't be that close to him...you can't discuss things as freely as you used to do earlier.
Cause: You start having the basic tendency of avoiding that person as you do to most people who have feelings for you, but you don't have anything for him.
You become conscious while talking,you become more aware whether your words are taken in other ways, whether your attitude, behaviors, words are hurting your 'once' best friend.
You want to gaurd that person from further hurts. But that person takes it otherwise. He understands, you avoid him only for the sake of yourself, for your own peace.
He hardly understands your emotion . That's not his fault . He loves you.But it's really hard to make him understand your cares and feelings, its hard to make him understand you are his
well-wisher from the bottom of your heart.
When you talk about other guys, your marriage and such stuffs, he somewhere gets hurt,immensely hurt, and you can feel it. But he doesn't understand that you do.
Jokes really doesn't help at those times. And its tough to go on like that. You cannot go ahead, you cannot regress. Ahead you can't go as you have someone else in your mind, you can't regress in the fear of hurting him.
I pray none ever falls in this situation. It's not a matter of loosing love, but it's a matter of loosing and hurting your bestest friend. It hurts like hell.

I chose to walk away from many friends in my life. They were all much beloved of mine, much close to my heart. I loved them all in some way or the other(may be not in the way they wished to be loved).
But I ended up hurting them, which I never wanted to do. They were hurt by me, It was hard for me to accept that particular fact. So I wished they were not hurt any more by me. And so when situations are such , where I can't promise myself that
I'll not be hurting them anymore ,I prefer to move away. I feel sudden death is better than blows in installments. And in these cases where it's pretty sure they will be hurt again in future, I don't dare to take the chance of continuing with them.
They may be sad now, but with time grief will be healed and they will be saved from the worse blow.But they never got the way I love them, never......


The pages turned mushy with teardrops and inks, and rashes of paper. She got up, washed her face, and decided not to cry again, cause she was right, and one day others will surely understand that.

But she was worried as the Rishi's phone was stil switched off.
 That night in her dreams the mighty knight came to bless her with his sword.

Then:
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -6

The odd man out.

In this world of utter selfishness and bitterness , some too good men still do exist.

Here comes a story of a guy, just 21, but a whole lot different from most others.
He is perhaps not suitable in this mean world of 21st century..
This not a story, a very true incident, and too good to believe, if you haven't seen him truly.


But I am lucky enough to get such a person as my classmate. He is too good for the world. The character may seem a reel-one but its a real-one.

A true human being he strives to be from every aspect of his life. 

But may be some, after hearing about him ,may say ,that he is not really ' good'.

Well, lets start.The Auto fare from Garia to our remote college stoppage was Rs.5.50 then.
This guy used to travel by auto. And most of us are acquainted with these days' south kolkata's autowalas(no offence intended) who are famous for their movements in the most static traffic, their lingo and their OTT behaviours..This guy pays normal fare everyday.

But one day, somehow an auto wala paid him back Rs.6 as a balance for Rs. 10 ,what my friend paid(originally he was supposed to get Rs.4.50, as d fare was Rs. 5.50) and before he could say anything the auto passed away with high speed..Now, this guy was in problem (as he felt it was not a right thing to give inappropriate amount of money to d autowala..).So what he did???

guess..

guess..

guess..


No, he didn't ran after the auto...
He just dropped a 1 Re.coin and a 50 P. coin on the road....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because according to him~ it was no more his, as the autowala actually deserved IT...

What to say??!!!


Another incident:
He was coming to college on that day by train.The train arrived at the platform , just as he entered the station.So, as he was just on time, couldn't go and buy a ticket, just boarded on the train, without ticket(Which is Strongly against his principles....)..

So what to do???

All day he was in a bad mood as 'strong sin-sense' was working in him.... 
So what he did?
While returning back home by train,he bought TWO tickets and threw one away..!!!!!!

He is not a very regular college-goer. So whenever he goes to college he takes the class-notes from other people for getting it xeroxed. Now by any chance if theres even a slight wrinkle in any of the pages of the notes he would give a new gum stick, a new cellotape to the notes-owner along with his/her notes..we become speechless at his such mannerisms, yet can't protest. Once we took the gum(which he gave one of us along with the notes) back to the college stationary shop and in exchange took a pen and somehow gave it to him, and fortunately he accepted without understanding the real story behind the pen..:)

I ,rather we don't get this man...We all shout at him, crazy, eccentric, lunatic and don't know what else...But he continues in  his strange (morale) ways...
There are many such incidents of his....
But we really can't make out whether he is tooo good a person or just a crazy fool ..!!

Just another Story. Part -4

CONTINUED FROM:  
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2   
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3 

Anu messed up her life. She was trying to sort it out hard, she was fighting to stay jolly among all the odds of her life. While with her family,she always showed her least emotions, thoughts and feelings.She tried to become busy with her work and career issues,as she thought staying busy will take her away somehow from her abundant mundane troubles.


Some day a particular relative of her told her " You are actually very rude,You have less emotions in you,that's why you can be so harsh on others'. Those who are emotional tolerates the jabberings of the unemotionals like you."  It was quiet hard for her to accept this specific statement, yet she tried to catch up a curve in her face and only one face rose in her mind Rohit .

Another day she was talking to her mom casually  .
Bending over her lean body Anu murmered "Mom,I think I need to loose a bit frm my tummy....." 

Before she completed her mom gave a stern reply "You are absolutely ok, rather put on some on that thin figure. What will your in-laws say?!"....

Anu was shocked " Now wherefrom do they hail from?". 

"We say nothing to you now, doesn't mean we won't ever say anything.You have to marry.
Whatever you say or whatever you do, You will have to marry,Don't think you will always fly like this and keep on fighting with
people around you..!!" 

Anu's parents even started showing serious interests in some of the marriage proposals that came for their daughter.
Anu could'nt utter anything, as situations worsened and her dad always scolded her mom whenever she said or atleast tried to speak anything in Anu's for, against marriage stuffs.

Anu could'nt carry on with the argument, left the room in utter disgust.

Earlier she always had Rishi by her side to share all these itsy-bitsy things,but now she preferred not to share.
For quiet a number of days she was absolutely without contact with Rishi; recieved none of his calls, replied to none of his SMSes. One day when Rishi couldn't take it anymore he
came to meet Anu at her home, but she didn't even came down to meet him. This was like a shock to Rishi.However strong his heart could be diagnosed his atrium and ventricles were not strong enough to tolerate such behaviour from his best friend and the one whom he loved so much. He started to try to cope with such strange behaviour of Anu, but in vain. It was hard , very hard....

The problem was that, he couldn't still understand why exactly Anu was upset with him and was denying to interact in anyway with him, and also he was not able to discuss the matter with anyone.
He cried hard.It was one of the rarest times in his adolescence when Rishi cried!! He spend days without food, all alone in his room, without letting anyone outside know, what storm was going inside.

He fell ill, tremendously ill. Mental trauma along with physical weakness carried him almost near death.
Anu's arrogance still prevented her from getting in contact with her ill best friend. Her mind and brain fought. Arohi suggested her again and again to go and see him before anything more serious and difficult happened.
Once again Anu was in dilemma - To go or not to go...if she goes and if Rishi thinks that she had feelings for him-all these things started cropping in her mind and gulped her days and nights.She sat blank for hours with random romantic songs running in her ear via the cord of her ipod.She thought she had no idea of her life after being financially established. She thought of the mosquito that was trying to squeeze in between her ear and headphone, she thought of it, that it never knew it would be dead the next moment.  Among all these non-sense thoughts she couldn't arrive at the final decision that was enough urgent to be made. Procrastination was now a part of her especially on some points..!

She only muttered " God,  why why ,why always these things happen with me??"

Then: 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -6

Just another Story. Part -3

CONTINUED FROM:  
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2 
                             

Anu was disturbed . She had some family troubles. According to her,her parents were perfectly imperfect for each other. They quarelled and fought with each other so much, that made Anu temperamentally unsuited to family life.The way her father treated her and behaved with her, she couldn't bear it and thought it would be impossible for her in her future to marry and live with some man;when she couldn't tolerate her father's attitude how will she accept someone under the same roof whom she hardly knows. She was avoiding relations and people involved in relations. These reactions in her sub-conscious mind somehow affected her social life.
Everyone started seeming different to her with time.

One of her big problems was turning to be Rishi. She started feeling a difference in him. She felt somehow Rishi was actually wanting to be more than just best friends to her. His touches were different. Those consolating soothing embraces were changing. Rishi has changed - this thought was pinning her constantly. The last day Rishi hold her, she sensed as if Rishi was feeling her, it was not the same friendly hugs; it was different, and Anu didn't like it. But she couldn't tell Rishi anything about this as she thought this might hurt him, in case she was wrong. She was not sure because she had great trust on Rishi, and if it was really like what she was guessing and had felt it would hurt her severely.

As days passed Rishi was more and more in love with Anu. He tried to support her in every possible way. But yes, as he was now in love, things were much different to him, unlike Anu. When Anu and he were close or when she needed his consolations, she was no more his best friend but his inamorata(for him). He hold her the way, he would never let her go away. Anu tried to tear herself away, but in vain;Rishi's strong hands and a burning heart couldn't let her go.

But Anu, inspite of being a modern girl still had some very conservative ideologies. The things she didn't like, none could actually make her like those. The incident affected her. She was creating distance between herself and Rishi, though she herself tried to move the incident out of her mind. She thought, from the next time she'll be conscious and won't let her be that close to Rishi that may cause her later-awkward thoughts and feelings. She also blamed herself somehow for her ill-feelings towards her best friend. Rishi was quiet able to understand how Anu was trying hard to avoid interactions with him, but he could hardly make out what it was. The last day they met ,she didn't even bid a good bye to him, nor looked at his face. This hurt him severely.he kept on wondering what was disturbing her.

Anu believed in platonic relations. She coludn't protest when Rishi was in her love , but she didn't like his 'that way' approach. Anu doesn't look on intimacy as a guilt, but according to her 'that'sort of closeness without one's will was never to be welcome.
 
Anu was once again breaking down as she was moving away from Rishi. In middle of the night she cried aloud 'Rohit where are you?Why you came to me? I ask you only this cause I can't blame you for leaving me,I know I was somehow wrong....Rohit...Rohit.....' .She tried to gather her lost strength from Rohit's name. He was not in her life anymore, but for Anu he was just ubiquitous as always .



Then:
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Just another Story. Part-2

Continued from:  Mind out: Just another Story. Part-1





Anu unlike most of the times grew a bit matured this time. She didn't tell anyone that Rohit called , not even to her best friends Arohi and Rishi. She even didn't give any clue to anyone how much sad, how upset she really was. At last she was able to conceal her feelings somehow - she thought. Arohi lived a bit distant cause she lived in other state for study purposes , so all the time it was not possible for Anu to share everything with her. But Rishi , being Anu's best friend and staying side by side most of the times  ,always understood her, often even the unuttered things. 
But this time, Rishi even didn't understand. May be because Rishi was a bit busy with himself unlike most other times when he always delves in Anu's mind. They were good friends ,  rather best friends for years, not childhood ones though.
Anu was almost a baby to him and together they would look like anything --- brother-sister, girl friend-boy friend, artist and his art, best friends. Rishi and Anu both treasured their precious friendship and they were so much confident that they even did'nt pay any heed to what others' thought of their being together for so much time, because they knew there was nothing 'something else'. Anu continued to flow in thoughts of Rohit , being determined not to place anyone else below Rohit's diadem and not even trying to bring anyone else in her thoughts. And also most of the times she didn't keep her thoughts to herself only, Anu felt secured in the often warm emraces of Rishi, Rishi was there, a safe shoulder to cry on and a safe locker to put all the thoughts and feelings safely locked.

Rishi was a boy with strong wills, dedications , determinations who always respected Anu's all thoughts and feelings, however idiotic at times they may be. Even when Anu used to get upset with guys approaching her, Rishi always calmed her down... But things always doesn't go uniformly. No one really understands the chicanery of fate and mind, however cherubic at times they may be. Enthereal moments they shared were never a sort of billet-doux for them. But 'stupid cupid'  with much patience and time created iridescent hues in Rishi's mind . Yes, Rishi was madly in love with Anu. He tied his mind and tried hard not let Anu know anything about that. But Anu was a girl and above all Rishi's best friend who used to make out so many of his problems even before Rishi thought of telling them to Anu, No exception this time. Anu understood. Again it was somehow a bad situation for Anu, perhaps worse. What to say your best friend , what are the word to console that person who loves you madly but doesn't even expect anything in return!! Anu was again befuddled, about what she should do.!  
 Arohi suggested her not to be the sameway any more. Arohi asked her to stop all her childish behaviours and kiddish requests and throw them away. Anu was sad. She was again on the verge of loosing a friend?!! Rishi didn't allow her to do so. He promised her not to pick that topic again. But Anu thougt she should become bit cautious , so that in no way Rishi should feel or start expecting 'something' in return.
They continue to be friends ; together 'stopping' to think about 'their' future, one trying hard to confide love, One fighting hard to keep safe distance from so much of 'loves' all around.

As the planet rotates our lives also rotate and we never know whats really waiting for us in the next turning point. Just as Anu, Rohit, Rishi , Arohi all waiting for the 'Next'.


THEN GO TO: 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5

Just another Story. Part-1

Its almost two years now ,of break up between Anu and Rohit.

Anu loved Rohit from the time she started understanding the meaning of 'love', in her early teenage.But ,destiny played game with her.
He moved far away from her, with no scope of contact and rohit had no idea about her feelings at all. They were not friends, not among relatives even, they just knew each other..

Some seven years later they met. Anu was overwhelmed, just by realising Rohit recognised her face , seen long seven years back. Nothing went wrong then onwards. Rohit approached her and proposed her even, which was almost a chimera to Anu for years. So many people told her and tried to convince her that she couldn't wait for someone or 'just' love someone without seeing or even knowing much about him,  for soo many years . But she did, at least, then she believed she did.
Time passed on . Those were the happiest days of her life. Those moments, those thoughts , feelings...yeah,she got the man she loved , though she never desired. She loved without any expectations. she loved without a little bit of hope of getting Rohit ever in her life. So when in reality things happened that way  ,it was not really a dream come true for her. She never dreamt of that. She prayed for him, loved him, even wished him to be happy with someone else if he was in love with someone else( she
had no idea though what was going in his life or whether at all anyone was in his life).

Good times never lasts. It was not an exception for Anu's airy-fairy tale and her hunky-dory world.
They broke up. She was having adjustment problems. A number of times she started feeeling she was insulted , her morale, her principles were looked down upon, and often crushed even. She couldn't tolerate all those. As they were together ,breaking all prognostications, they parted breaking all predictions.

He was first in her life, but she was not the first one in his life. After Anu and Rohit broke up, Rohit went back to his first girlfriend(oops love..!) who claimed she always loved him , though Rohit left her due to some mere misunderstandings.
But Anu was alone. She loved to live that way, without inculcating any other 'especial' person in her life. She was happy being alone. She had no expectations from anyone.
The only thing changed in her was her mentality. She was determined not to be committed again. She was prepared to lead the rest of her life by her own. She didn't feel anybody's need in her life any more.

Days passed.
Rohit was traversing his ups and downs of life with another girl by his side --- this thought often hurt Anu, and often she was satisfied and happy thinking Rohit was no longer morosed for her,he was no longer living their memories as Anu still did.

Two years later on Rohit's birthday Anu wished him via SMS,not a call. He thanked and called her. It was 12.26 A.M. The conversation went. ...


Rohit[R]: Hello....

Anu [A]: Hello.

Rohit: how are you?

Anu: I am well as always...

R: Good.

A: yeah I know.

R: so.... whats going in your life?

A: studies, exams, gossips , music and everything thats required for me and myself.

R: Well thats essential part of life. What else, whats goin on in your personal life? Is there anyone now in your.......

A: No, I didn't feel any requirement of anyone else in my life. And what all happened in my life even if I blame someone,Its me.....

R: You are still very angry on me, right?

A: Why should I be? I am happy with whatever life gifted me. I never thought of getting it. I have no objections or complaints against anyone. And I don't blame myself generally, Cause I love myself the most on earth.And well the way I felt myself to be insulted, I want none any more. What do you think if you now wish me to be back in your life I'll be...Never.

R: Hmmmm ...Good, thats very good ki you don't blame yourself....

A: yeah I know, and apart from that there are actually soo many things going on in my life. Each week rather each day of my life is eventful for me...

R: Do you still remember me often?

A: Why should I?

R: Answer my question.

A: (Anu's voice started trembling and cracking....) Why should I remember You?

R: You are lieing...I know you are. Have some water now.

A: Yeah I had, Why should I lie?

R: Can't you answer a single answer properly and straight? You are not in your best manners now....

A: If I am not, Well I can't behave better than this....

R: You have remained the same...

A: Hmmm....

R: I am feeling sorry now, I didn't wish you on your b'day. Actually something very wrong was or is still going on in my life..I'll tell you someday....Sorry I didn't wish you...

A: Doesn't matter. I didn't expect or want anyone's wish.

Rahul: Well I didn't ask for your opinion, I said I felt sorry for not wishing...Actually today after coming out of office all of a sudden I remembered you...

Anu: ok ok....sorry...

R: Hmm.. so now ,can I give you a call ,often?

A: Whats the use?

R: Why don't you answer a single question clearly...Can I call you?

A: No, please no, No need. I am happy with the past memories, I don't want to refresh them And I don't want you as my friend or brother or any other thing on earth. I loved You and I still cherish many of my memories with you. Its better to relish ice-cream frozen and chicken soup hot... Will you like them the
other way round??

R: hmmm okk....so... now go to sleep...

A: hmm ok(no words were coming out now)..bye. good night...

And She hung up.... Then she burst into her usual tears. But this time this phone call made her stronger. She felt bad when he asked him whether she still remembers him or not, whether he can still call her or not..Didn't he really knows the answers.!
So what was his purpose?! To cool her down and consolate her, Or her first love again left him and he wanted Anu back.!!
Why are some rather most men so insensible, so selfish,and so unfeeling...!! Anu wondered.
She spoke to herself and once again confirmed her determination of not committing to anyone in life... One who hardly respected her thoughts, her feelings.. one who was so obfuscated with himself that he hardly looked around...He asked soo many questions.
But she hardly did any.Perhaps she didn't have any curiosity , or perhaps she had all the answers...!!
She had one question to ask "How are you?"..But she didn't ask. Because she thought she would be sad with any of the answers.
It was already very late and she was more than tired physically and mentally.....she thought and thought untill sleep engulped her and relieved her.


THEN :
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-2 
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -3
Mind out: Just another Story. Part -4
Mind out: Just another Story. Part-5